Ring Ring Ring
Dave: Hello
Slob: Hey man, what's up?
Dave: Nada mucho, y tu?
Slob: We got a hotel room for the race but wanted to coordinate with you and stuff
Dave: What are you talking about?
Slob: The race in two weeks, I'm bringing the family and we got a hotel room
Dave: I have no idea what you are saying; what race?
Slob: The triathlon we signed up for six months ago.
Dave: I signed up for a triathlon that's in two weeks?
Slob: Yep, I'm sending you the link so you can see your name on the website.
Dave: I have no desire to do a triathlon in two weeks, I'd rather you get a running start and kick me in the nuts as hard as you can
Slob: I would if you had any nuts to kick
Dave: Good one. Well, as long as you're going to be here, just stay at our house so we can at least carpool to this so called race you think I'm signed up for.
Slob: Cool, see you then....
And so it went, the Slobs came to visit us and actually proved that I signed up for a triathlon. Over three thousand people registered and everyone but me was excited to be there. I felt like a grumpy old man:
-The lines are too long
-I have to walk too far to get my bike
-I have to wait too long to start the race (The winner finished before I even started, no lie)
But as I watched wave after wave of people I began to notice a progression in age. Like most races, you start with people that are at or near your ability level. With over 3000 people, that meant that they had roughly 30 different waves that went off in 5 minute increments. I got a good view of about 15 of those waves and saw men and women of different ages start their slumber towards justifying the t-shirt they received the day before. I started noticing a lot of patterns too;
1. Men in age groups from 20 - 30 years old have a lot of tattoos
2. Men in age groups from 40 - 50 have a lot of body hair in weird places
3. Women of all ages are more polite to each other as they begin the thrashing of a mass swim start
4. Men seem a little less conscience of the weird shapes of their bodies as they get older
5. It seems that you need to spend about $5,000 on a bike to feel good about yourself these days
As I got into the transition area where all the bikes await their owners like little puppies in the window of the pet shop, I couldn't help but notice that there was millions of dollars in leisure equipment just laying around. There was so much expensive hardware there this weekend it made me a little sad that the average person had been convinced somewhere along the way that even though they are getting older now and had to "compete" in individual sports, the way to make themselves happier was to purchase an eighteen gram crotch rocket that slices through the air. There I was, borrowed bike, running shorts (no spandex), and a great sense of urgency to run as fast as I could so my wife wouldn't be late for an appointment she had immediately following the race and I could stay in her good graces. Hey, everyone has a different motivation.
The finish line is nearing and there is my family on the final turn, screaming and yelling for Daddy. The scowl that I had for the previous three hours immediately changed to shear joy and I grabbed my daughter so we could run the last 100 yards together and cross the finish line holding hands and pumping our fists. You want to know why I'm "clinging to my youth?," so I can experience that moment for as many years as possible. I will remember the crowd's cheers for us and her face forever.
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