I thought it only fitting to try and quantify a few things with the aging body before I begin the infliction of pain. So, new year's resolution numero uno is...go to the doctor. After meeting him in his office and talking about my OCD planned year, we then start talking about the litany of tests I will do in the next hour; EKG, blood, urine, etc. I got out of the one that included a rubber glove because he saves that gem for 40 year olds. Oh, the poor 40 year olds.
What I found out: I've been lying to people my entire adult life. I thought I was 5'9" when it turns out I'm 5'8". I'm also 200 lbs. First thing Mr. Doctor says to me is by Body Mass Index calculations, I'm obese. Not only am I walking around the room in my underwear and having nurses walk in and out at will (one did tell me I was wearing different socks; meaning there is nothing on you worth looking at except your socks), I have that little obesity nugget to boost the ego. He might as well said, "I'm a little embarrassed to be in the same room with you given the way you have let yourself go over the years. I'm actually surprised your wife still likes you."
In any case, he wanted me to get a chest x-ray and see the results from some future performance tests I'll be having. Icksnay chest-ray. But I'll see what the other tests reveal.
I went home and ate some ice cream to make things better. That'll show him.
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