Motivation Is Not Enough

This past week I interviewed my most recent subject for Daddy's Desperate Attempt.  Doug Berlin, a 44 year old entrepreneur that has held two jobs his entire life.  His first, selling insurance.  His second and current, owner of a $10MM, three location enterprise that employs dozens of people and allows him the outlet to pursue one other passion.

He's a self diagnosed OCD sufferer that cant sit still, not even for his son's lacrosse practices/games; he's the coach.  Formerly a gym rat (his words, not mine) he found himself surrounded by people looking to lift heavy things, go out to binge drink and end the evening with some adult entertainment.  He played rugby in college but never ran any distance before because in rugby you typically run into the person in front of you and then run to the bar afterwards.  On a whim, he told his wife that he was going out to run one day.  So when he came home from that first 5 mile distance run, he decided he needed to actually by running shoes.

Flash forward 4 years, yes, only 4 years, and he's run marathons, 50 milers and 100 mile races.  He went from the level of aerobic activity of a tree to finishing his first marathon in 3:15.  Most people train their whole lives to  be able to run under 4 hours.  But really!!!  100 miles after only running for 4 years.  Doug vaguely discussed with me that during his most recent 100 miles, 22 hours, that he had a sprained ankle for the last 40 miles.  He's not proud, he's not gregarious or looking for notoriety.  Doug is searching for sufferance.

Motivation will only take you so far.  "Motivate yourself to get out of bed."  That's nothing.  What about motivating yourself to become the oldest person to be accepted into the Army's Special Forces?  That's Doug and the process he is going through now where he literally needs an act of Congress to get him the age waiver he needs to be accepted.  Its not enough that he's monetarily successful, has a wonderful and supportive wife, 4 children who love and adore him dearly and he's the biggest exercise stud you'll probably ever meet.  His motivation, or whatever you call it, goes to the point where he needs to drop all of that to serve our country and foster what seems to be some of the most compelling God given gifts a man can receive.

Doug seems to have a lot to do in our world.  His expense, his suffering, his fatigue, his motivation, his desire, his goal, his dream, his understanding of normal is so clear to him that it gives him the ability to go beyond motivation.  Motivation is working REALLY hard to do something you may or may not want to accomplish.  But Doug has paved a path for himself that essentially says, "I choose not to just work hard, but to go so far beyond my limits that I can find my soul, stare it in the face and decide how I am truly to live out my time on earth."

Liberating is probably an understatement for Doug.

The Gift of Plimpton

My cousin just sent me a video of George Plimpton and how he went about being one of the world's most esteemed reporters by actually participating in what he was writing about.  You may remember him for his cameo as the psychiatrist in Good Will Hunting.  

Plimpton would box a pro fighter, tame a lion, jump out of planes, and pitch to pro baseball players, all to get a story.  He needed first hand knowledge of an experience in order to truly understand how it feels to be that person.  However, when I told my cousin that I wanted to be Plimpton, he wrote back and said, "Dave, you are him."  I guess I am; in a much simpler way.  I'm desperately trying to find something this year and taking the time to write it down so when my children learn how to read, they'll understand what it was like for their father to turn 40.  I don't really feel like I have anything to prove but the more stuff I do, the more I seem to find out about myself.

May and Cowboy, when its time to read this, please understand that your Daddy is a little crazy.  Not in the clinical sort of way (self-diagnosed,) but in the socially unaccepted sort of way.  You already know what you're going to get when you follow someone, but when you have an original idea, an atypical thought, a path that is not easily traveled, the perception is that you're crazy.  Its super easy to go about your days and have a scoop of vanilla.  But will you ever know what its like to rent an old gas station and create your own flavors from scratch?

This past weekend, my wife and mother, with a lot of help from my closest friends, through me a surprise 40th birthday party in the middle of Central Park in NY.  I walked into a room crowded by love and was able to retrace my life from the day I was born.  Family and friends from every stage of my life, all in one room, celebrating my four decades.  I didn't have to run far or travel for hours to know that I had been molded to the person I am by the people that stood before me.  I had been loved by each soul and cared for by the absolute best people I have ever known.  It wasn't an accident that after 40 years I was able to stand in front of this group of people and realize that I didn't need much else.  I just wanted to be with them and hopefully we could smile and laugh as much as we normally do.

So May and Cowboy, even though it wasn't even my birthday yet, I knew that my presents had come to me over the previous 40 years.  Each time I met a new friend, spent time with a relative and had a chance to listen and explore their lives, my gifts became eternal.  I'm happy that I'm turning 40 and I'm happier that you both are my two sweetest gifts I have ever been given.